Saturday, August 30, 2008
2:28 AM
I went for a gathering with my ex-classmates earlier yesterday. Despite arriving late, the meeting was a sluggish and lacklustre one, but it is really great meeting my old friends again.
Unfortunately, it seemed as though nothing has changed, the hallmark of weakness appears ever evident as before. It is a sad sight to behold, foolishly clinging on to naive, unaspiring ideals that distinguishes the lesser and the mighty. Not that it matters much, but it seemed as though I have lost the sense of familiarity with them. Perhaps the habits of old do not seem pertinent as anymore, my mind has progressed farther, away from the insights of the common.
On the brighter side, I was delighted to meet my teachers of old, namely Mrs Wee, Mrs Chong and Mdm Yeo. They were still as before, ever eager and passionate about teaching. We chatted briefly about our future careers. Peers of my age are fretting about what career to do in future, but I have decided on mine, that is research, Physics. No word in my vocabulary can best explain the elegant, subtle yet enigmatic subject which drives my passion and interest. They have high hopes for me, so it is best that I do not let them down.
Ironically, I feel weakness in me, the tendency to procrastinate, to be disinclined just to do homework! These feelings are irrational, yet sadly I remain irrevocably human. The habits of my old lifestyle have not dwindled but inflated! All these vices must go to achieve what I have in mind. Yet despite bearing the might of my will, I too frequently succumb to them, much to my displeasure.
Looking back, I achieved a raw ' O ' Level score of 10 points, far from what I had in mind. I ended up in a jc that has plenty of 'georges' around, though making it to the top 12 in my school, there is a sense of distraught within me, the desire to do better overwhelms me.It is irrational to falter here, not here. The signs of weakness do not deter me, however. I will fight it, and triumph shall be mine to seize.
My dreams have been dark of late...
